From ‘What Do I Do?’ to ‘How Do I Handle?’

Don’t know if you’ve ever had to deal with the initial pity party. You know, when you say, “I have diabetes,” and then the person says, “Oh, I’m so sorry!” When they proceed to ask the details that go as deep as “How long have you had it?” and you say, “Oh for about 21 years now,” they suddenly change their mind about you.

Look, I’ve been around it all my life, have had to deal with shots and not being able to eat certain things. I’ve had high blood sugars and low blood sugars, have cried because of low blood sugar, have drank like a camel because of high blood sugar and I’m just fine. I don’t need your pity party or the fact that you’re sorry for me.

I got a question, though, one time about coping. How did I cope? I don’t know if I ever fully felt a burden enough to cope. I just did because that’s what I was told and then learned how to do. There was a certain age where I learned more and was educated about my diabetes but along with that I feel that I’m still trying to figure out how to handle this thing I have. This issue that I live with.

I’ve been using the pump for about three years, and it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve had more problems with it. Whether it’s bent cannulas or dead spots on my own body that no longer absorb insulin, there are problems and with that, figuring out how to manage, cope and grow with it. To say the least, it’s a pain in the ass.

But there’s nothing like getting blamed for the mishaps. A bent cannula and all of a sudden you get asked, why didn’t you know? Maybe YOU did something wrong. How much good is that thing if you don’t even know if it’s working?

Trust me! Don’t you think I listen to those thoughts in my head every day and I’m trying to figure out the same thing plus trying to figure out how to get myself to feel like a normal person?!

There are times when it’s a burden and there are times when everything is OK and sometimes it feels like it will be a never-ending roller coaster of a life that you just have to ride sometimes. It’s a pain in the major butt, to tell you the truth.

Someone else asked if I used humor in my blogs. I don’t know if I use humor, per say, but I know that blogging gets me feeling like I’m thinking things out and it keeps me sane. Do I laugh, sure. But I also feel like the truth is harsh and ugly. I try not to think about how I feel but rather, I feel my logic take over and what I know about my body to help me fix whatever problem I have. People run to doctors too often whereas I feel that the doctors have taught me things in order to take care of myself. I’ve paid attention.

Having diabetes is an ever-changing and growing process and I learn every time my body goes through a tumultuous episode. It happens to all of us.

But when we’re literally knocked down, you must have the mental power to bring yourself back up and keep going. You really have no other choice.