It’s the beginning of 2018 and it’s time to set those resolutions, right!? Not so fast.
In an exchange with someone at work, I proclaimed that I’m really not about resolutions because I usually make goals. And with a short break between the past year and the current year, it’s easy to get your head in order and your priorities straight. Time off is an absolute blessing.
Additionally, I had been going through a major burnout the end of the year. To be quite frank, I wasn’t eating well, I was drinking too much and my goals seemed so far off in the distance, it didn’t really matter to me whether they were going to be reached or not.
So what did I do? I set myself up for a refresh. For our Secret Santas at Christmas, I asked for things I’d use in the New Year to improve upon myself– whether that was writing more than I initially had been or trying something new as a form of exercise– the things I put on my list were going to serve some purpose.
Here’s what I asked for:
- Pens and journals… ‘cause, duh. And I realized that I hadn’t been WRITING in a while. Typing, yes, and it was also starting to make my wrists and hands ache. Uh oh!
- A Google Home mini or two… (we bought another one)
- Socks. Can’t ever have too many.
- A Happy Planner. Have you seen these things? I started following boards on Pinterest but the whole thing is still overwhelming and I’m about two weeks into 2018.
- A new gym bag. YAY!
- Makeup brushes… for those days I feel like I need to be done up.
- A new endocrinologist.
You got me. No, I didn’t ask for a new doctor, but I did change my insurance plan and in case you didn’t know, in-network and out-of-network doctors can be the difference between having a savings account and not having one anymore. By the way, I’m still paying off a bill from Feb. 2017 because guess what– this dummy didn’t pay attention to the network.
So, I stuck with my plan and found a doctor close to home that works with Type 1 patients regularly. YES! If you haven’t read my other blogs (and I don’t expect that you would have), you would have seen that I’ve been to a variety of doctors and have had a variety of experiences with each of them. By this point, it’s kind of like dating over the age of 30– you’ve made up your mind halfway through the first date.
Within the first third of the appointment, I already knew I had hit a mini jackpot. When you can go to a doctor’s office, not a hospital, and find a representative for your insulin pump dedicated to that office who can help answer questions, is an RN and also has diabetes, it feels like you’ve won the lottery. I was kind of hooked after that.
The doctor himself was nice and talkative, made me feel welcome and didn’t lecture me. “How long have you had diabetes?” he asked me. “Twenty-six years,” I said, I think he knew I had been lectured long enough.
I digress. So, before going to see my new doctor, I decided that I was going to go back to the rudimentary way of keeping track of blood sugar levels: I started writing them down again. Not only was I writing down my glucose numbers but I also started writing down things that I was eating and at what time. Along with that, I was listing carbs and units of insulin I was getting.
I know. Don’t tell me. In this day and technological age, I shouldn’t have to manually write anything down, but call me old fashioned; I like paper and I like to see everything together over a day’s time.
As you can probably assume, I’m holding myself accountable for my actions and what I put in my mouth. I’m watching my carbs and I’m trying to get my steps in daily. If it weren’t for this stupid cold, I’d be working out right now. I hope to get on that this week and get back into a daily regimen that will give me the results that I saw a few years back when I was dedicated.
This can all seem for superficial reasons, right? Like, I’m getting married soon. So many people have been trying to remind me of that recently and although I’m excited, I’m not allowing that to be the beginning of my life. I’m alive right now and there shouldn’t be anything preventing me from living to my full potential.
Just like I didn’t become the woman that I am because I met my fiance, I’m not letting different milestones define who I am as an individual because I am me 24/7/365. No offense to the wonderful man I’m about to marry– I definitely found someone who compliments my character and who is my partner in everything I do– but I am my own human.
So here’s to 2018– a year in which we will define ourselves for ourselves; in which we’ll reach for the highest mountain and tallest branch; in which we will achieve our dreams and make wonderful memories; in which we realize just how much we have to be grateful for. Here’s to us.