Anxiety, Shelter & going Tubeless

Ever have the thought, if I don’t do it now, I’m never going to? Yeah, well, that’s how I feel about writing this right now. If I didn’t do it now, I probably was going to wait another set of months to keep quiet.

Well, here we are, 2 variants and a melt down later and really, nothing has changed. Wait – I’m wrong, things HAVE changed and I’m still unsure whether it’s for the better or worse right now.

I’ve never been this much of a homebody, ever. I enjoy being home now. Change of scenery is hanging out in different parts of my house. Typically, I’m working on the second floor. Weekends we’re on the first mostly and sometimes even get to go in the basement! Ooooooeeee! So fun.

My work brain is starting to take over at home. I’m organizing, cleaning and “donating” everything I no longer want. Don’t be afraid to throw things away.

I really don’t feel bad that my daughter hasn’t been out of the house since Christmas Eve. Omicron.

The years now that the pandemic has been upon us has really taken a toll on my mental health. Like, let’s be real. It’s taken a toll on everyone’s mental health. I think that’s why I started cleaning things out, organizing home life and paying attention to my daughter more than ever. I was so present, thinking about things that the pressure and the anxiety all hit me at once. On Christmas Eve. It was awful. I didn’t want to get out of bed.

I threw on my weighted blanket, told my husband I wasn’t feeling OK and slept into the afternoon. I was drained. I was tired. I was thinking so much that it was throwing me into this tornado of depression that just kept swirling as long as I was awake. I cried. Everything made me cry. I felt so defeated, feeling that nothing was ever going to get better and the fear of catching this thing as well as preventing my daughter from getting it was honestly wearing me down and it felt like it was killing me.

I’m better. For sure.

I wrote.

I wrote a list of everything I was thinking and feeling. Writing out the thoughts that were in my head, punching me in the brain, making me worry, think and feel pain way too harshly. My body was in pain. I was angry. I wanted a punching bag, which I’m going to suggest to my husband that we buy. I think it would be helpful because everyone living in this house has a temper. I think it would be helpful to channel it in a way that will satisfy us. I feel like punching something would help and I’m pretty sure my husband feels the same way.

What can I say? We’re a little aggressive.

The most recent update, when it comes to my diabetes is, well, I’m at a 7.5 a1c, higher than where I was with Luna and can be a ton better. Working on that. If you follow me on Twitter, you might have also seen that I’ve decided to go tubeless and I started using the Omnipod Dash and have come to like it.

Like everything, there are pros and cons for sure:

Pros: Its TUBELESS. I have no more fear of doorknobs, can wear clothes with tops that I can tuck in! OMG! I also don’t have to worry about my little one playing with the buttons and trying to unlock my Medtronic Minimed like a game.

Cons: I have to remember to bring along the PDM. I didn’t understand the 3 day concept of changing the pod, but quickly learned through alarms, bells and whistles that I had to change it. I’ve also gotten use to pulling down on the syringe just enough for 3 days.

Overall, it was just a learning curve. I’m sort of missing the CGM component but am looking forward to trying the Dexcom, since I’ve always heard so much about it.

So here I am, feeling better day-to-day, getting used to a new pump and enjoying being a homebody, starting January 2022.

How’s everyone else doing?

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